Aww, God above, dear God above, I need help to pass this assignment. I didn't catch the prompt because I can't remember what class was on Wednesday. I'm just so damn sick of being rushed to do shit. My animal studies class is easy enough besides the essay project. Math class is rather straightforward, albeit as confusing in organization as ever despite being nowhere near as bad as the upper division engineering classes. This class, the writing class, has to be the most frustrating. I managed to read up to about page 82 before throwing in the towel. I can't think of jack to write about with this book. I'm behind in math class and there's a quiz coming up, so that is the number one competing factor with this class. You know what happens when falling behind in one class causes you to fall behind in another -- absolute shit follows, apparently. God, I pray constantly for help. I must have struck a nerve somewhere because school just seems to hate the living fuck out of me now, when it was never like that prior to my entrance to senior year. I'm a very good person. I put nothing before God. I bar sin. I repent. So what in creation could be killing my success in school? Sigh. I used to avoid the word "God above" like a bad word, but now I know it can be nothing but medicine to say. God, I need help concentrating on school, keeping up in school, and passing assignments. This is all that I need as far as present priorities. My recent failures in school lead me to start seriously wishing for the door to another place, even if it is suffering. At least I would be suffering directly and not suffering under the weight of school and household supposed-obligations. Dear God, I am dying to move past the college phase of life and be an adult properly, but I'm well and properly trapped here by the system, trapped in my parent's household by a closed society and empty neighborhood. I was suckered back into school because I literally had no other options in life here. God, if I could pass this semester without a failure, that would spell hope, as this semester should be the last one that I take 3 classes. The math classes ahead, we can only hope to be clearly organized and actually helpful, unlike the engineering classes of yore. God, if I could miraculously drum up a blog assignment in time, I can delete this malarkey, but if not, the teacher must know I am suffering. I'm suffering from household emptiness, suffering from a society dead of opportunity for me, suffering from powerlessness against oppression far away, suffering from the lack of even a single real friend, suffering from a lapsed academic concentration ability, and suffering from just the sheer unavailability of life in this town. If there was a door, here, and the door would take me to a real home, anywhere, I would abandon all this nonsense to go someplace I can express myself, somewhere I can breathe right, somewhere I can actually be someone and forge a life for once. Aw, heck, I would rather be completely dead than subject to the grueling punishment of obligation by schoolwork and, shudder, household. God, if I cannot walk away, then please help me just pass class so I can keep making (or faking) it in the hopes that I will ever meet a real friend here. Thank you.
. . . Yeah, I've been reading the book. Thank God for text-to-speech because I lost the ability to concentrate on boring. No, honestly, I literally cannot even see straight when I look at boring text now, and I never had trouble reading before. Yeah, I'm reading the book with the help of text-to-speech and while it isn't bad, it's grueling to think I have to write about it. I can't find jack to write about with this. It's like a narrative of daily life. There's no racism, no conflict, and nothing remarkable. That's why I find it so unbearably grueling to be forced to write about.
In all seriousness, there is a phantom menace in society, and it is the menace of Work-Worshiping.
Indeed, hard work pays off, but what is problematic is the blind worship of working, and worse yet, talking down on others for not being the same ditch-digging connoisseur you are. It's important to realize that hard work is relative. One man's hard work is another man's chump-chore or monumental feat. There's a big difference between encouraging hard work for success, and punishing the innocent for not overworking their backs off. You can't control everyone. You can only throw a line so far before you have no choice but to leave it up to faith, and why not pay some homage to faith in God above for once?
This assignment would be a chump-chore to me if the work was more defaulted, i.e. supplied prompts and actual connection to the text.
Yeah, here's a connection to the text: the slow, grueling drag & drivel of daily life with no real friends or hope for purpose. That's my life right now and I'm behind in math, which I absolutely need to pass because it is my major. Why, in fact, this should get a higher grade than a disingenuous, generic text analysis because I write this from the heart.
On a related note, I have determined that Islam and Mormonism are absolute bogus. I was a scientific atheist since childhood well into college, but God interacted with me directly and now I believe in the teachings of the Bible. The Bible is very strict about not worshiping false gods or prophets, and not making undue concessions to such sin.
Islam is not a valid religion because it stems from the blasphemy of a false prophet and worship of a false god (Allah before God-above).
Mormonism is not a valid religion because it says salvation can only be accomplished if you adhere to Mormonism and become a top member. A cute idea, but it is far from realistic and prone to fault.
Judaism is a valid religion, albeit arguably incomplete since it pretty much just adheres only to the Ten Commandments. The problem with Judaism is that it seems to be stuck on policy prior to the time of Jesus.
Prophets Joseph Smith and Muhammad were patriarchs. Indeed, the Bible is clearly chock-full of patriarchs. They do not get a free pass just because they were in the Bible. Even Jesus's family had shortcomings and lived in unjust patriarchy. Jesus Christ, himself, however, was not a patriarch.
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